Ambrose Bierce Zitate auf Englisch

Zitat des Tages von Ambrose Bierce:

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Ambrose Bierce

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Ambrose Bierce

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

Ambrose Bierce

Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

Ambrose Bierce

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

Ambrose Bierce

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

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Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

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Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

Ambrose Bierce

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Ambrose Bierce

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

Ambrose Bierce

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

Ambrose Bierce

Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.

Ambrose Bierce

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

Ambrose Bierce

Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

Ambrose Bierce

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

Ambrose Bierce

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

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I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.

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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Ambrose Bierce

Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

Ambrose Bierce

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

Ambrose Bierce

Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

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Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

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Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.

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Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

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The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.

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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

Ambrose Bierce

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Ambrose Bierce

Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.

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Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

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There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Ambrose Bierce

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

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Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

Ambrose Bierce